So i had a blast writing a response to an article on the frumsatire here about why he thinks lubavitchers rock . I thought it was so funny and true but i had to respond with my little top 10 list why the frumsatire author loves us Lubuvatichers so much he is destined to make a lubuv transfer (lol) here was my response. Maybe its not so funny but i was cracking myself up.......
Top 10 reasons you will become Lubavitch in the next 10yrs…..
1.The beard is inevitable due to male laziness and Omer. So why not skip the yearly itchy growth stubble and make the full time commitment !
2. We now have burgundy kippot!
3. Your wife will never make you push a shlumpy graco like stroller. Yes you’ll have to shell the cash out for the bugaboo or whatever is the newest sleek Swiss model out, but you won’t feel like a shlimazel pushing the newest baby pink teddy bear and balloon motif stroller around.
4. Not only are the girls hot, but we are smart, well spoken, assertive, artistic, awesome chefs, career minded and educated, stylish and tznius ( because Anthrpologie rocks) and can do all this run a Chabad house raise many children and still have time to worry if the neighbor lights Shabbos candles.
5. Did i mention there is now Cholov Yisroel nacho sauce they don’t even have that Cholov Stam. Think about it creamy nacho goodness and the all the happy neshama benefits of Cholov Yisroel. Whooo hooo thats worth giving up Hershey !
6. Not only do the men wear different colors, but have you seen the wide knot tie pink Shabbos shirt and karppota look. Well all i have to say is Shizaaam!
7 . Crushed hat , not. First of all that is a patented 3 pinch that can not be replicated. And if your hat always looks crushed, you don’t care if it gets rained on, so you don’t have to wear a special rain hat cover or a grocery bag to cover you precious 10 gallon snag hat that is 40 feet tall and is balancing on the very back of your head. ( sorry if you wear one of these i love 10 gallon hats really i do )
8. Pesach is really a cleansing. Who would of thought peeling everything, eating lemon flavored everything, and matzah that taste like the box only burnt, would cleanse your system so nicely. Trust me it really does a number on you. I swear in a good way yah in a good way trust me.
9. One word only “Mendy Pellin”! Don’t know Mendy Pellin, whats wrong with you. Check out Chabad news online. Thats all i will reveal.
10. Lubuv girls are hot! Not because we wear boots and denim but because the spark of the Rebbe is seen through all of us. Us Lubavitchers are the Rebbe’s children. You can say its the clothes the Sheitels but when it comes down to its a spark in all of our eyes because we devote our lives to Jews all Jews, we learn and then live it and help others live it, this is what the Rebbe wanted. There is a beauty in someone that devotes their life to others. I see it everyday from China to Montana and every Chabad house in between. That is the reason trust me not the boots.
( i live in Baltimore so if anyone needs a Shabbos meal let me know because i cook in all colors not just brown.)